Untouchable

My throat feels raw;
My eyes sore and red with tears
Pain flooding out through my face
In all its sad and ugly raging.
You are gone, but not gone.
You're near me now,
But I cannot touch you.
I'll never again reach out and feel you
Warm and sleepy beside me in bed.
Never again will I hold you close;
Our hearts reaching out and entwining in the smallest of gaps
Between our breastbones.
I remember though,
How you lifted your head to look into my eyes -
Yours were deep green, and so tired.
When we sat in the hospital,
Hoping for good news,
There was a baby - squalling loudly in his mother's arms.
He looked just like you.
He was small and frail, newly born,
And you,
Small and frail, soon to close your eyes for all time.
I'm crying now, and fighting not to cry.
I cannot touch you,
But you are here.